Family Relationships#03

Attention Given To You By	Mother		Father
	N	%	N	%
Very Limited	20	11	31	17.1
Average	45	24.9	36	19.9
Above Average	93	51.4	57	31.5
Don’t know	14	7.7	25	13.8
No Answer	9	5	32	17.1
Total	181	100	181	100

Most of the time, our father would be working. We would hardly see them. We are at school throughout the day and are asleep before they come home. Our mothers however are home with us and therefore we get more attention from them than we do from our fathers. They are the first to notice the changes in our behaviour and the first to see the problems start up. They are also the first to accept the lies because they want to believe us. They don’t want to accept the truth and we can’t face telling them the truth either. So we swear upon anything that we are not using drugs and they believe us. Maybe they are in denial too.

“My mother and I had a very good relationship, she loved me and protected me and looked after me. My mother was sick and she had been to India for medical treatment. When she got back, the first question she asked me was ‘son.. are you using drugs?’ The answer I gave her was a big black lie. I told her that I don’t use drugs. I looked her in the eye and I lied to her.” (MA, male recovering addict, 24 years old).

Can You Talk To Your	Mother		Father
	N	%	N	%
Very Limited	36	19.9	46	25.4
Average	69	38.1	60	33.1
Above Average	57	31.5	25	13.8
Don’t know	8	4.4	17	9.4
No Answer	11	6.1	33	18.2
Total	181	100	181	100

We would talk to them about some things; relationships, problems that came up with friends or family. The addiction or drugs are things we never talk about.

“I talk to my family about things, my parents talk to me. But they never talk about drugs or addiction. They tell me that they don’t want to talk about it when I mention it. They would notice my behaviour changing when I started using heroin. But they don’t want to talk about drugs. I didn’t want to talk to them about it either actually. I thought I was absolutely fine, there was nothing wrong with me” (AA, male recovering addict, 27 years old).