Routine Activities

As drug addicts, the first thing we do when we wake up, is use drugs. Without drugs it was impossible to get through the day. We always found it wise to have a supply on hand at all times, but sometimes we had to go to bed without any for the next morning. We’d then have to go out into the street for our morning fix.

“When I have no stuff for the morning I feel sick even when I fall asleep thinking of the pain that I have to suffer in the morning. In the morning I wake up and do not even make an effort to wash my face. I go straight on the street. I walked but felt no tiredness in my legs. I went from place to place searching for drugs. When I got my stuff I use it and then go looking for it again and again. So in short I can say that my life revolved around finding and using. Nothing mattered to me anymore.” (FS, female recovering addict, 25 years old).

It was normal for us to start our day with drugs. It is normal to use drugs whenever we had to do anything. Our priority was the drugs and we would choose it over anything else.
Although this was our life, it bothered us a lot too. We were not like this before we went into addiction. Suddenly, it was normal for us to be lying, cheating and stealing to get our drugs. This was not what we wanted to be or do but we felt that there was no other choice.

“I remember going through heavy withdrawals one whole night (that was my 17th birthday) and near dawn I got stuff and used it. I felt barely okay and knew that my withdrawals would strike me again in another hour or so. I did not have any money so I went at that odd hour to friend of mine and asked him whether he could give me some money so that I could take some of my friends out for an ice cream. I swore that I had stopped drug using and I was doing okay and he gave me check, which I could only cash out around 9 in the morning. I felt sick for cheating someone who was so dear to me and cried the whole while I was using up the money he gave me.” (FS, female addict, 23 years old).