Routine Activities

As drug addicts, the first thing we do when we wake up, is use drugs. Without drugs it was impossible to get through the day. We always found it wise to have a supply on hand at all times, but sometimes we had to go to bed without any for the next morning. We’d then have to go out into the street for our morning fix.

“When I have no stuff for the morning I feel sick even when I fall asleep thinking of the pain that I have to suffer in the morning. In the morning I wake up and do not even make an effort to wash my face. I go straight on the street. I walked but felt no tiredness in my legs. I went from place to place searching for drugs. When I got my stuff I use it and then go looking for it again and again. So in short I can say that my life revolved around finding and using. Nothing mattered to me anymore.” (FS, female recovering addict, 25 years old).

It was normal for us to start our day with drugs. It is normal to use drugs whenever we had to do anything. Our priority was the drugs and we would choose it over anything else.
Although this was our life, it bothered us a lot too. We were not like this before we went into addiction. Suddenly, it was normal for us to be lying, cheating and stealing to get our drugs. This was not what we wanted to be or do but we felt that there was no other choice.

“I remember going through heavy withdrawals one whole night (that was my 17th birthday) and near dawn I got stuff and used it. I felt barely okay and knew that my withdrawals would strike me again in another hour or so. I did not have any money so I went at that odd hour to friend of mine and asked him whether he could give me some money so that I could take some of my friends out for an ice cream. I swore that I had stopped drug using and I was doing okay and he gave me check, which I could only cash out around 9 in the morning. I felt sick for cheating someone who was so dear to me and cried the whole while I was using up the money he gave me.” (FS, female addict, 23 years old).

Age Of First Drug Use

Figure 2: Graph showing responses for ages of first time use across substance
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The typical addict in the Maldives usually starts using drugs between the ages of 12 to 16. This was the time that our friends mattered to us more than anything or anyone else, and we desperately wanted to fit in. We did it just for the kick, to show people that we were tough. We could not risk being labeled “un-cool” (katu[1]) by our friends, so when it was offered to us for the first time we could not refuse. We had it and found that it was something that was too good to ever say no.

“My friends used tablets then but they did not push me. I felt very left alone when they are on a high so I thought that perhaps I would use. And I did and I got so crazy “ (NP, addict, age unknown).

We could not risk saying no to our friends. We could tell them that we were afraid of what might happen if someone found out. Our friends could turn to be real bullies if they wanted to and can even embarrass us in public. We used just to let them know that we were made of the stuff that they wanted.

From that moment, our behavior changed rapidly. We changed physically and mentally. Our values changed and so did our priorities. Our whole world focused on drugs and the high that it brought us. Everything else was a burden. Our life started officially in the hidden world of addiction and the drugs had become our lives and we didn’t have time for anything else.

It is a fact that during the first days of drug use, there were many people who were willing to give us drugs. We were invited to use and given more than we could take. Wherever we looked, we had people willing to share their drugs with us. We felt that we were accepted and we became more confident.

“I started seeing this girl who lived at the house I bought my drugs from. She was very young then around 12 years old. She would come over to my house as well. One day she told me that she wanted to try some drugs. I thought she was using anyway because her family was using and she lived in that house. She asked me what drugs I used, and I told her that I liked to mix my drugs. I used heroin and I used tablets as well as hash. I told her I had Valium, joints and grass with me. She wanted to try some Valium. After she took the tablets she said she was feeling hot and took off her shirt. I started rolling a joint because I knew she would want to try that too. I knew what would happen if she smoked the joint while she was on the Valium as well. I knew it would be easier for me to have sex with her when she was like that. After that she was always at my house. She spent more time with my family than I did. She had easy access to my house and room and she could get into my drug stash that way. She only stopped coming by when she found out that I had slept with her cousin.” (IM, male recovering addict, 33 years old).

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“A foreigner introduced us to heroin. I was about 14 years old. He came to my friends’ house where we used to hang out. We all tasted it and we found that it was better than hash oil. We get higher on it. We get more active and it feels like we are in Heaven. That man gave us 15 grams for free. I didn’t know anything about heroin and at the time I didn’t want to know anything about it either. We didn’t sell it, we decided to keep it somewhere safe and have fun with it together. We used it daily.” (AA, male recovering addict, 27 years old).

We wanted them to remain our friends so we gave what we could. We had access to money. So we could spend that money on our newfound friends. But as we fell deeper into addiction, we realized that this was not a genuine gesture of friendship or love. This was a phase of the game. After we became dependent on the drugs we found that the people who willingly offered it to us before did not want to give it to us anymore. We had to beg, borrow or steal in order to get our fix.

Sometimes if we had no money, the dealers would request us to hand over such valued items. Later, we ran out of our money and had no way to get hold of the drugs. By that time our parents and family were aware of our problems and that is when the real troubles begin. Our secret is no longer a secret; instead it was out in the open. Everyone knew about it but in our “ignorance is bliss” mode - we would just deny it.

[1] katu: Dhivehi word for ‘uncool’

Our Introduction To Drugs

Figure 1: Pie Chart showing who introduced the respondents to drugs

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We’d start off smoking cigarettes and that was okay. But after few days, we wanted to experience something stronger and different, and more fun than cigarettes. Earlier, it was ‘grass’ or ‘weed’ (marijuana or ‘faiy[1]’) and ‘hash-oil’ (theyo[2]), which was available, but since 1992 ‘brown-sugar’ or hakuru (brown sugar - heroin) was available and became the choice of drug for most of us.

“I remember first time I used ganja with our friends, “Oh man, this is crazy, I am using ganja”, If someone finds out, I’ll be in deep shit” (Rd, male addict, 38 years).

In most cases, our friends introduced us to drugs (80%). For some of us it was our boyfriends and girlfriends (4%). Most of us had siblings in our families who used as well (3%), or more other family members (4%) we knew used drugs. We used together but we did not introduce it to them. Our younger siblings probably learned about it through us and maybe they started it with their friends. Once we found out that they were using, we used together. We tried to protect each other’s back and did each other favors.

"Before I was got into the addiction, my brother was already an addict. But I never tried to make him stop. I was always with them, my brother and his gang. One day I got a call from some of my friends. They said that they were in trouble. I love my brother and my friends so I got involved in them. But I had never used drugs. I was arrested for robbery and I was banished to an island for 1 year and 6 months. At the time I used to deal all kinds of drugs. After some time I was released and I came back to Male’. The Police killed my brother and I started using drugs that same day. That day I went to many people for help but I got none. All I got that day was the drugs. Drugs became my best friend, I would be with the devil everyday". (AN, male recovering addict, 23 years old).

In 2000, I was working on a resort and I came back to Male’ on holiday. That’s when I found out that my little brother was using heroin. I was sick that day and he knew it and asked me if I needed some heroin. I said yes and for the first time I used heroin with my brother. I used heroin with him for 4 years. (MA, male recovering addict, 24 years old).

We were using drugs in the places we used to hang out in, either at a friend’s place or somewhere where we had access to freedom. We were chasing the dragon so it had to be a closed place where there would be no wind. But after that, our using places changed from place to place and we didn’t care where we were, as or where we had to go as long as we got our drugs.
The following shows you most of us got drugs from our friends. Do you know who your children’s friends are?

Sick – used to describe effects of withdrawal
[1] Dhivehi word for marijuana
[2] Dhivehi word for hash oil